So. I haven’t posted for a while. Not because things have stayed the same (I wish.)
More because I haven’t had the energy.
Went for a jog this morning with Elsa, my ridgeback. Haven’t been able to run with SBRR or SBAA since I pulled a hamstring warming up a month ago. (I did run the New Years Resolution Run with that pulled hamstring – but it hurt and I was very slow. Don’t feel justified in complaining though – I CAN still run, walk, etc. and will probably be fast again at some point in my life. . .)
Hal has continued to lose strength. It’s difficult to assess if the disease progression is slowing. What I can assess: It is more difficult for Hal now than it was a month ago to speak intelligibly. It is more difficult for him to get out of bed. It is more difficult for him to move from his wheelchair to his recliner. Typing is slowly accomplished using one finger of his left hand. He rarely wants to try to drink anything, and chooses not to eat more than a couple of cookies or a pudding over the entire day now – so he needs to be fed by tube. Everything has become more difficult. I dread the day when Hal won’t be able to do those things at all and will be completely dependent.
Meanwhile it is difficult for me to motivate myself to run, swim or do any form of exercise other than teach classes. My available windows of time for such things are narrowing. And it just seems so crazy that I should be working on my fitness when Hal cannot do even the most basic things. In addition, when I do actually attempt to run I keep injuring myself. The most recent injury was about 5 minutes into my warmup.
I do have one special thing to cling onto. Hal is here. With me. And the world keeps spinning – with us together in it.